Managing Anger

It seems the level of anger has increased over the years as Singapore society becomes increasingly urbanized and affluent. Counsellors and psychologists are seeing an increasing number of counselees having problems in dealing with anger. It can ruin both the joy and health of many, sometimes with severe and irreversible consequences as in the recent case of a heated traffic dispute where a young driver jumped in front of a taxi pulling away. It resulted in his tragic and untimely death.

At its simplest, anger can be described as a strong negative emotion of displeasure that conveys the concept of an inner emotional heat which rises and is fanned to varying degrees ranging from mere frustration to violent hatred. They need to be properly managed.

We ought to try to deal with the roots of anger and expose and sever them before we can manage anger effectively. Proverbs 27:4 warns us that "wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous......" Our pent-up emotions may lead to outburst of uncontrolled behaviour, yelling at others, screaming insults and vulgarities, hurting and injuring others with violence and destruction. The Lord says in Proverbs 29:22 "An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression". It is clear that undue anger is able to unleash a multitude of sin. Anger and hatred can cause strife in the family or at the working place or in the church when one starts to release accumulated pressure of anger. Equally true is that of a "furious man" who will soon abound in transgressions. Mischief and offences will flow from such.

Undue anger is a sin which leads to other sins, giving rise to occasions of swearing, cursing and profanity. "A quick-tempered man acts foolishly" says Proverbs 14:17. In verse 29 it says "he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly". When we are angry we do and say things that we would never do or say at any other times. Hasty temper is bound to bring about foolish actions which we will regret later. In the process we lose the respect of others.

Managing anger requires us to acknowledge the dangers it poses, to seek God’s help and to follow His counsel. "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence" says Proverbs 19:11. Since anger often causes one to act rashly, it would be wise for us to be deliberate from now onwards to "think before you act." Let our words and actions be determined by Godly wisdom and not by the sudden surge of emotions.

Proverbs 16:32 "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." We are reminded to "slow" down and not be hasty in our response to others because acting without discretion will lead us to great folly, making us look like fools. Keeping our passion under direction and check will help to manifest Godly behaviour, and this is deemed better than ruling a city.

Walking in and yielding to the Holy Spirit is a sure way to check our sinful passions and anger. When upset or frustrated, pray immediately for God’s help to manage the situation in a Godly and loving manner. Make deliberate attempts to ignore our passion and instead yield to His will.

Finally, pay heed to Solomon’s advice in Proverbs 22:24-25 "Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a furious man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare."

In Christ,
Elder Patrick Lim