Mothers’ Day has not always been a joyous occasion for me since I lost my mother to cancer 12 years ago. I was inconsolable for a time – regretful of things I said or did not say; as well as the many things I should have done for her during those final painful days – the list is too long to enumerate.
I had always taken her for granted, of course! She drove me everywhere – to school (5 days a week), swimming training (3 times a week), to choir and piano lessons. I don’t even remember saying: “thanks Mom”! She loved us and spoiled all her four children, making each one feel special in her sight. I think this was the essence of my mother’s love – a love which knew no bounds and expected nothing in return. Sometimes, I think that we really didn’t deserve her!
Someone once told me to never forget one’s mother’s voice when she is long gone. One night, in a vivid dream, I heard her calling me loudly in her unique voice – it was a sweet moment indeed, so every now and then, I try to “hear” her in my head!
What a thrill it was when Mom gave her life to Jesus and was baptized. By then, all her children had married Christian spouses – it made no sense for her to continue her ancestral worship, so she willingly gave that up. She was in her fifties when she became a member of Bartley Christian Church. For almost 20 years, she faithfully attended service, sang in the choir, joined Bible Study, and contributed some of her best dishes to the Ladies Fellowship. She was so loved by her church members.
Today, as a mother and grandmother, I readily admit I don’t possess even a fraction of my mother’s capabilities; nor have I demonstrated a love as selfless as hers. I get emotional when my children say something hurtful; frustrated and angry when they fail to show appreciation; and disappointed when they don’t take my advice – everything my Mom never did. She definitely was a hard act to follow!
So what is my wish this Mothers’ Day?
That the Lord will make me more like Mom – stoic in the face of adversity, persevering in spirit, prayerful in need, enduring in love, never complaining, possessing the patience of Job and above all, faithful to her Lord unto death.
Mrs Fu Yayin